I’d like to show you my appreciation.” “Sure” says John. Just turn your back and drop it. If a bird sh*ts on your golf cart, don’t ever take her golfing again. Apr 23, 2017 - Find the best golf humor and cartoons on this board by www.GolfBallsUnlimited.com. Bob Hope; If I’m on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. 23 Comments. On the drive home, Clare again shows John her appreciation through oral sex. If you are looking for a funny golf gift for a friend or relative, here’s our top picks in a bunch of different gift categories. I've got to wash my balls. Dirty talks allow the body to come to terms with one’s thoughts, imagination, and hearing hence a more erotic experience. “As we are confessing, I haven’t been completely honest with you either. A. 58. See more ideas about golf quotes, golf humor, golf. If a bird sh*ts on your golf cart, don’t ever take her golfing again. Today, they called it golf. 1. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker. now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); Our golf ball packs come with 3 novelty balls. Top Ten Golf Phrases That Sound Dirty But Aren't: 10. He decides to test if he can get any wishes granted. 6. “A” Game: A golfer’s best game which is executed on a regular basis. 2. Damn, I missed the hole again. 3. What’s the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball lost in the rough?Guys will spend at least 5 minutes looking for a golf ball. 1. Nothing happens for the first half a minute then all of a sudden the sky becomes filled with millions of ducks.“I said bucks not ducks” said John. Long ago when women cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. It bends a little to the left. High quality Dirty Sayings gifts and merchandise. Golf Funny Sayings | Golf Lessons […] 20 Funny Golf Sayings and Inspirational Golf Quotes – Haggin Oaks – Here is a collection of 20 golf quotes – some are inspirational and others are golf sayings that will hopefully bring a smile to your face. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 2. “I’ve been stung be a bee” she said.“Where did it sting you” asked the pro. If you find these a bit rude for your taste, check out our funny golf jokes here which are cleaner and suitable for all ages. Bob and John have just finished an arduous round of Golf.“Bob” says John, “you didn’t seem the same on the course today. My shaft is bent. “This is the most enjoyable round of golf I have ever played” says Clare. This goes on for the remainder of the week with Clare winning every round of golf. I’m a hooker”.“That’s OK” said the husband. “Sorry. On the drive home on Friday, she says to John “John, I’ve got something I need to tell you. John slams on the brakes and veers violently off the road screeching to a holt on the side of the road. Mulligans are the reason golf balls come three to a sleeve. On the drive home, Clare says “You know John, I really appreciate you inviting me to play golf with you. 3. John being a complete gentlemen offers Clare a lift home to which she accepts. After 18 holes I can barely walk. For shorter gags, here’s our Golfing one liners. Dirty Sayings Golf Balls are great gifts for friends and coworkers. A lady is setting off to have a round of golf after a series of lessons with the club pro. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 59. Golf: a game where you yell fore, you get six, and you write five. Get in the hole! 4. 2. 1. ———-Golf brings out 3 year old in us – we struggle to count past 5 ———- In fact at the end of 18 holes, she beats John by 4 shots. After 18 holes I can barely walk You really whacked the hell out of that sucker. Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind. -Bob Hope Show the world how much you love this sport or express your feelings using these slogans. When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. What is the easiest way to tell a golfer is cheating on his wife?He continually puts his driver in the wrong bag. We have a threesome, care to join us? What is the difference between golf and sex?A bad hole won’t get you a slap across the face when you play golf. Is everything alright at home”“Not really” says Bob. A couple have just gotten married. “Where did you get such big lighter?”“I got it from my Genie” says Bob. Stand with your back turned and drop it. 99 Try choking donw on the shaft. Again the golf pro looked up from his seat and said the Same thing “you are too close to the ball.” John and the stunning brunette Clare decide to play against each other for the rest of the course.Clare is having a pretty good round. Dirty Golf Sayings. Golfpranks.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com. Dirty talk helps arouse and stimulate particular senses that are sometimes overlooked during sex. Or here’s our top Golfing one liner jokes. Dirty Golf Sayings.....? 7. More jokes pages will be added over the coming months if you like this style of humor. “Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.” —William Wordsworth “The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf. Amazon, the Amazon logo, are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. Got a friend who needs a laugh? The grass is clean, a lawn laundry that wipes away the mud, the insect, the bramble, nettle and thistle, an Eezy-wipe lawn where nothing of life, dirty and glorious, remains. “You’ve just got to make sure you keep left arm straight and your head down longer.”. Keep your head down. Golf is what you play when you're too out of shape to play softball. Dirty Cart. This old pro was sitting there giving the lesson and after every swing, he said: “your standing too close the ball”. John being keen for a smoke asks Bob for a lighter.Bob pulls out a large BIC cigarette lighter about 12 inches long. This is a game of misses. I am a golfing addict and every chance I get I’m going to go and have a round.”“OK” said his wife. Golfer: Please stop checking your watch all the time, it's distracting! I haven’t been completely honest – I’m a transvestite”. I know I am getting better at golf because I’m hitting fewer spectators.” – Gerald Ford” “Top 10 Things That Sound Dirty In Golf Nuts….my shaft is bent. ———-The best way to reduce shots on the score card is with an eraser. Ace: Hitting the ball into the hole in one swing of the club. Dirty Sexy Quotes, Sayings and Images. 10. Get in the hole! You can also support your favorite player using these slogans & lines. Inspired designs on t-shirts, posters, stickers, home decor, and more by independent artists and designers from around the world. After 18 holes I can barely walk. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); Afraid of The Dark: When the putted ball refuses to fall into the hole. Bob Hope Sayings on the Game. -- Winston Churchill "Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf and you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf." Golf epitomizes the tame world. 2. 9. John and Bob were two of the bitterest rivals at … 3. The lady replied “Between the first and second hole”“Ah”, said the golf pro as he nods. Look at the size of his putter. Airmail: A golf shot which travels a considerably longer distance than planned. Bob then reaches into his golf bag and pulls out a small blue Genie.John is pretty impressed. Show Business is just to pay the greens fees." Clare then reaches between his legs, unzips his fly and performs oral sex on him on the drive home.Tuesday morning comes along, again they play a round in the morning and again Clare wins by a couple of strokes. The 32 most dirty quotes and sexy quotes of the past in one list with funny, dirty and sexy pictures. 5. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker. You need to adjust your grip. John recently changed jobs and starts working a night shift. In this post, we are going to share with you 65+ Golf slogans, chants & one-liners. Angry with Clare’s admission, he turns to Clare “You f*@king cheat. So I adjusted my stance and took another swing. "There are two things you can do with your head down, play golf and pray." You didn’t think I asked for a 12 inch BIC did you?”, What is the similarity between golf and sex?Even though you are really bad at both of them, you know you will still enjoy it.¬. Nuts! The guy who misses the best is going to win. After 18 holes I can barely walk. Guys will spend at least 5 minutes looking for a golf ball. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker. I haven’t been completely honest. Look at the size of his putter. Can Dirty talk increase sexual pleasure? Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube. “Your stance is far too wide.”. Home » Browse Quotes By Subject » Funny Golf Quotes Quotes. The best way to get better at golf it to take it up earlier in life ———-Improve your golf game by practice, lessons or cheating. Mind if I join your threesome? Bob and John are having a round of golf. I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead. Damn, my shaft's all bent. Lift your head and spread your legs. The sex is the same as always but the dishes are starting to pile up”. For shorter gags, here’s our Golfing one liners. Damn, my shaft's all bent. Shop a wide selection of designs or personalized a pack with monogram lettering, a favorite saying or artwork. © 5. John thinks about it for a moment then says “I wish for 5 million bucks”. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy. ———-Golf addiction. 2. Golf is 20 percent talent and 80 percent management. 3. Taking advantage of the late start, he decides to fit in a round of golf every morning before work. 9. Caddie: This isn't a watch, sir, it's a compass. How many strokes was that? I was taking a golf lesson at the range one day trying to improve my game. You’ve been hitting off the ladies tee all week”. “And we were taught to play golf. 4. “Wow”, says John. Golf Balls. On the first round on Monday morning, he catches up with a stunning brunette after the first 5 holes also having a round by herself. 4. See more ideas about golf humor, golf, humor. I should have told you” Bob says. It’s almost a law.” —H.G. Spread your legs a little more. Not for the easily offended, this selection of Dirty Golf Jokes are for adults only and are sure to get a laugh. Feel free […] ———-Missing ball. I'm pretty good with my short putts. 4. Hold up. Explore 708 Dirty Quotes by authors including George Bernard Shaw, Mahatma Gandhi, and James Dobson at BrainyQuote. 5. What does masturbation and 4 putting have in common?Even though you’re a little ashamed of what you have done, you know you will do it again. Otherwise, If you’ve enjoyed these dirty golf jokes, check out our clean golf jokes here! Funny Golf Quotes and Sayings. Enjoy! A couple have just gotten married. 4. -- Jack Benny "You can make a lot of money in this game. “My genie is hard of hearing. I have collected 45 dirty talk examples and quotes to get some inspiration for the erotic and naughty talks. Look at the size of his putter. Just ask my ex -wives. -Lee Trevino "Golf is my profession. John says to the Genie “Hey Genie, as I’m such a good friend of your master Bob, will you grant me a wish”.“Sure will” says the Genie. John agreed so they decide to play against each other every morning for the rest of the week. Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because it cannot count, criticize or laugh. Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing. 4. 8. 8. Giphy. “I’m not too sure. 7. Wells “Golf always makes me so damned angry.” —King George V. Golf Sayings “Golf is a … Brand new golf balls are attracted to water, and the power of the attraction is in direct proportion to how much the balls cost. What’s the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball lost in the rough? Shanker Golf Balls - Rude Trick Balls with Funny Sayings (Sleeve of 3, Novelty Gag, Playing Quality) - The #1 Ball for The Shittest Golfers - 2nd Edition 4.6 out of 5 stars 79 $14.99 $ 14 . I May Not Be Mr. My shaft is bent. 1. Right Golf Balls. Aug 3, 2019 - Explore Nicole Garner's board "Golf sayings", followed by 119 people on Pinterest. 6. 3. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. As they are retreating to the bedroom for the first night madness, the husband looks deeply into his wife’s eyes.“Honey, I’ve got something to tell you. Dirty Golf Sayings Jokes. 6. “What’s wrong” says the golf pro realising she’d only been gone a short time. Please Share Us! Things You Won’t Hear Women Say About Golf Ladies Foursome Helpful Guide to Female Golfing Terms The Lady’s Tee Ladies Tea Women Golf Jokes! 15 minutes after leaving the clubhouse, she returns looking a little flustered and upset. And these dirty double meaning phrases (which we recommend only sharing with a partner who can’t dump you on the spot) are just too good to give up. Sunday Service “Golf is the perfect thing to do on a Sunday because you spend more time praying on the course than if you went to church.” —brockoli117 on Reddit.com History buffs will love these funny history jokes. 2. funny golf gift for a friend or relative, here’s our top picks. Copy. On a golf course nature is neutered. Nuts! “I think my wife Beryl might be dead”.“What do you mean you ‘think’ she’s dead. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker. All orders are custom made and most ship worldwide within 24 hours. Are you looking for Golf slogans, phrases & one-liners? 60. Sponsored Links ∇ Amusing Things You Will Never Hear a Woman … Funny Golf Jokes for Women Read More » Isn’t it obvious whether or not she is still alive”.“Well” said Bob. Look at the size of his putter. Copy. "Golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture."
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